a.f. swanson
stories and prose.
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mother’s daughter
my mother sent me a message one evening at 3am. “my mother’s grave’s lease is over at the end of 2027,” she’d said, “and i don’t know whether to continue or not.”
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Maiev Shadowsong: Hiraeth
—a world of warcraft short story—
no one will ever know what it means to bid farewell to a home you can never return to—only Maiev Shadowsong maintains that burden.
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catslaughter
we had an ‘outdoor cat’ named Isabella. my mother never got it right; always calling her Isabel instead, confusing her with the youngest daughter of a family friend.
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drive
every night, he asks her the same question, and every night, she gives him the same answer.
but on a summer night like tonight, when she’s been pushed to the very edge of her waning patience for this fragile existence she calls a life, she’s thinking a drive is just what she needs to clear her head—even if it means getting into a car with the bane of her existence.“I’ll drive you home with the windows down.”
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it’s late, go to sleep
it’s been a year.
life has gotten exponentially better since then, but i’m still so unhappy. it frustrates me that i’m so unhappy when everything points to things being alright.
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the dawning
at the sunrise of my existence, it was decided that i would carry with me a special kind of burden. perhaps i did something to deserve it in a past life where i was ungrateful and wretched; a godless, wicked little thing of which he decided would suffer in every incarnation to follow.
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when you go away
there are so many things i can’t do, so many games i can’t play, so many songs i can’t sing along to, so many places i can no longer visit, and so many memories i cannot relive without feelings of devastation now, because it all makes me think of you.
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a brief thought on yearning
someone can be a yearner while not allowing that yearning to interfere with their life. the real question is if you consider one being unable to continue on with their life normally a necessary aspect of yearning?
yearning doesn’t often take the form we expect it to. we don’t always give away our deeper thoughts when we move through life, and even if one compartmentalizes their yearning, that doesn’t make the feelings disappear. they’ve merely been moved to a new space where they continue to exist.
could these feelings be resolved through accepting one’s circumstances? sure, but acceptance doesn’t necessarily mean you have no regrets, and regret is the mother of those who yearn.
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Make You Feel (Light Novel) – Proof of Concept
this is a proof of concept for my upcoming light novel: Make You Feel, Volume One. included is a low-resolution version of an illustration intended for the book. however, due to financial constraints, the initial publication of the book will not include any of the intended illustrations. for this very reason, the first volume will be available for download to everyone; no purchase required.
i hope you enjoy this excerpt. keep in mind, it is subject to change in the final published version of the book.
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