there are so many things i can’t do, so many games i can’t play, so many songs i can’t sing along to, so many places i can no longer visit, and so many memories i cannot relive without feelings of devastation now, because it all makes me think of you.

what a cruel, cruel thing to do to someone you once claimed to love.

the right thing to do was not date someone less than four months after our five year relationship ended, but if you couldn’t wait, let it not be someone we both knew in our time, and if you couldn’t do that, at least tell me before the internet knows. 

you failed me three times.

now, in five more years, i won’t be able to call you on your 30th birthday and ask how you’re doing, just like i can’t wish your father a happy birthday tomorrow.

and you’ll never get to ask me if i ever finished that book of mine, or if i got the daughter i always wanted, nor if i settled into my new home just fine.

we can’t ever be in each other’s lives again, because you decided i wasn’t worth your time, let alone your courtesy.

you burnt our bridge to ashes, and i had to scatter them as a grieving widow would. now i’ve been forced to turn away, feeling as you disappear behind me on the other side of the river. your memory slips through my fingers. your smoke enters my lungs until they smolder, and the viscera rots. betrayal, festering like a tumor in my back—a cancer in my heart.

and you caused it.

how can you blame me when i say this is a cruel, cruel thing to do to someone you once claimed to love?